It's A Go

Sitting here in my mismatched green socks, pink polka-dot pajamas, and Logan's ΑΣΦ zippy, bun on my head with mascara running down my face. I promise this is a good thing. After a long, hard, fought battle with universities and financial aid... I think I won.

Today I had an academic advising appointment with a graduate student basically doing what I want to do- Psych undergrad, academic advising masters certificate, and higher ed masters degree. He was very enthused when we started talking. Then he told me I need to work in the advising office. Then he gave me high recommendations. Then he introduced me to some other advisor. Then she told me to email her my resume. So yeah. It escalated quickly.

I went to financial aid. Financial aid does not cover everything. However, I am confident that this first year will be handled well. I got it all planned out, financial-wise.

About an hour ago, I did something that was starting to feel like something that was never going to happen. I registered for Fall classes at a university level. I have sent in my housing application. I have paid for my housing application. I am excited. I am going in blind for roommates... We will see how this goes.

I guess I will finally admit this to the world too... I am very interested in Greek life... Surprise?

Here is the schedule!!

Where I'm At Right Now In Reguards to Schooling in the Fall...

I have 2-3 options.

Option One: Go to Western. I have applied. I haven't gotten anything back yet, though. They have my financial aid ready, but I can't see it till I get accepted. I missed the scholarship deadline so that stinks because according to my advisor at KCC, I would have gotten around $7,000 automatically. So I am really waiting to hear from them to make a final decision.

Option Two: Go to Eastern. I loved Eastern. To read more about my feels toward Eastern, read my previous blog post. I have been accepted and I have gotten my financial aid package. Again, I missed the scholarship deadline. The package was less than stellar.

Option Three: Stay at KCC. This has a lot of positives and two really huge negatives. If I stayed at KCC the classes are really cheap and they transfer. I can get a lot of general education out of the way. I would transfer in as a junior. I could apply to other universities earlier and get the scholarships and better financial aid. However, this would not be good for my sanity. I cannot be a 21 year old living in my folks house. I can't. I can't afford to move out and save for college AND pay my collections agency. That is one issue. The other is that I need to have friends again. I swear this lack of social life and friends has been destroying me internally. It is crazy how loneliness can get so dark.

So I am ready to apply to Eastern. I am ready to send in my housing app. I am just waiting on Western to get back to me. If Western has a better financial aid package waiting for me, which I doubt, I will go there. I can't stay at KCC.

Visiting Eastern Michigan University

So we get to the welcome center at 1:45. The room is packed with people. I fill out this sheet of paper that has my information on it. One by one an advisor talks one on one with a visitor. While I wait I notice they break the tours into smaller groups- like, five people. I got a free shirt. So there are two of us left in this room. Lets call the other girl Tabby. Tabby talked to an advisor already. Finally I get called aside and I get some information (that I already got off the internet) about my two majors. The admissions advisor also tells me that I got accepted! Yay! So instantly I ask where financial aid is and if I can go talk to them. She tells me and I end up running by there after the tour. So Tabby and I are the only two people in the tour group.

Our tour guide, lets call her Neem, was very bubbly. She was a sophomore and majors in speech pathology. So we start touring campus and it is actually pretty small. This made me very happy. I like small campuses. It isn't necessarily a "pretty" campus but I love the historical buildings. The honors college is actually the oldest building on campus and it looks amazing. There was also a building on campus that has burned down twice and they rebuilt it. I guess it was because of the chemistry department. Now the chemistry department is in the $90 billion dollar building for science. I also will be taking most of my classes in here because the building also houses psychology. Unfortunately this building is very far away from the foreign language building, where my minor is housed. I am not sure where history is taught. But hopefully I'll find out.

The dorms. Oh the dorms. The freshmen dorms are pretty much exactly like Northern only a little newer looking. The transfer towers are tiny little things. So when I applied for dorms, I actually applied for one on campus dorm that is for transfers and upper classmen but it isn't a tower. And my second and third choice was an apartment that is about a mile away.

At the end of the tour we ended up back where we started, shocker, right? I went to the mini financial aid desk and the worst part of the visit occurred. This financial aid lady told me that my EFC jumped a little over $3000 to about $7,800. It was $4,651. This jump made me ineligible for the pell grant. Needless to say, I was devastated. We filled out some extra documents and then we went to Ikea.

Many hours later after Ikea and getting dinner in Jackson, we were home. In the mail was a letter from Eastern. Hmm. I open it and it is my financial aid package! In my financial aid package was an EFC of $4,651 and a pell grant!! So then I was thinking someone has to be wrong. So I log onto myemich account to see what it says on there. The award letter I got and the myemich account had the same things listed. So I think the woman was wrong. Or whatever she was looking at was wrong. I am actually going back on Thursday to talk to an advisor and to talk with financial aid again.

So I love Eastern. And I am totally okay with being an Eagle. No matter what I was going to end up there. I almost went there instead of KCC anyways. EMU is also the only university around here that offered the masters certificate of academic advising! It was bound to happen. And my cardiologist will love that I will only be a few minutes away.

I'm Really Bad at It

The only way someone can improve themselves is to know what they either aren't good at or what they are insecure about. I'm not talking about just physical insecurities either. I am concerned about this post because I don't want it to be a "complainy" or a "pity party" post. I don't intend it to sound like either of those. So here goes, the things I need to improve on.

1. Medication. If you know me at all, you know I am really bad at taking medication. It isn't that I am lazy. It isn't that I want to die. The issue I think, stems from when I was younger, around 10, and my cardiologist at the time had me extremely over-medicated. I don't want to say it was traumatizing, but it definitely influenced the way I feel about medication. I am trying to think of a reward system for myself that will motivate me to take it more, and eventually every night. One idea I have is that if I take it all week, I can buy myself a candy bar (dark chocolate because it is heart healthy). And that will just be once a week.

2. Portion Control. I love food. Who doesn't? The issue is that I don't like eating. I know, confusing. The actual act of eating is what I don't like. I am not too sure where this comes from. I'm not talking about eating disorder status though! No need to worry about that. So because of this, I only eat once, maybe twice a day. And when I do, I eat a lot all at once. So what I am trying to work on is getting better portioned separate meals a day.

3. Procrastination. I have had a heart monitor that I'm supposed to wear for 30 days sitting in my room in a box. It has been 2 weeks since my appointment as of Wednesday. I really just need to get my s#!% together. Also, lately with homework, I am not doing it when I could be. But that is a lazy "I am ready for Spring Break" attitude that I need to kick. Once I am back from Spring break, it should go away.

4. Eggs. I tend to put them all in one basket. I mean, I paid my $300 acceptance fee to Penn State before I even knew what my financial aid package was. I don't know why I do this kind of stuff. Maybe there is too much faith or something going on. I do know I am going to be working on looking at things with a critical eye now. I can't just jump for joy when good things happen. I need to analyze what is going on before I make big decisions.

5. Money. On one hand I am really proud of myself when it comes to money, but on the other, I know I need to be more organized and be more aware of how much I have to spend on "fun" before I go crazy. With these new monthly payments for NMU and I took on my own phone bill, I need to think about where which parts of my pay check should go.

So yeah. In order to better yourself, know yourself.

A Big Loss to A New Beginning Pt. One - Plan Under Construction

So in the previous post I talked about how I am not able to go to Penn State anymore and my goals. So now my plan is in shambles. However, I feel that with my advising passion, I am doing a good job at figuring out what's best for me and how I can piece it all back together.

To go along with goal one, academic advising, I have to do a few things. Before I tell you my oober cliché major, I want to explain that this is the major suggested to me by other advisors, as long as I continue my education. So I am going to get my bachelors in psychology. Along with this major, I am minoring in history. I have thought about double minoring in German studies. This is not for certain yet. Anyways! After I get my bachelors, no matter where I study, I have to go back to Eastern and get the Masters Certificate in Academic Advising. On top of that, I am going to get a Masters of Arts in Higher Education. All three of those educational tools will aid me in getting into academic advising. With my Masters of Arts in Higher Education I could use that to become a professor. I will probably take some extra administration classes while I am going through that portion of graduate school. My big goal, becoming an important, decision making, role in University administration. To do this, I want my PhD in educational leadership. Working at a university it is common for administrators to get "discounts" or even pay for classes. So I am going to pay my dues as professor/advisor and take some classes in politics and business while working on my PhD in educational leadership. Then I start working my way up, hopefully. I'd like to complete my final goal by at least age 43. I would be happy. Or at least by the time my own children are about to head off to college.

My biggest issue is where to get these degrees. I could get a bachelors in psychology at almost any university. It just depends on what area of psychology I want to learn. I know Western focuses on behavioral. I can't tell what Eastern focuses on. But I like their program when it comes to what classes I can take. With the history minor, I actually get to take BETTER classes than at Penn State. I can take "the first world war", "Europe since 1919", "Nazi Germany", "American history from 1917-1941", and even "Model UN" so I am very excited. I love love love the world wars and German history. Love. And I could potentially be double minoring in German language. Can I just go there?

For the Masters Certificate in Academic Advising I already know I'm going to Eastern. From my research, I can't find it at another university in Michigan. For the Masters in Higher Education, the only universities I can find it at is the University of Michigan and Central Michigan. Either I would be fine with, however I would prefer UofM because it is in Ann Arbor. Then the final piece of the puzzle: PhD in Educational Leadership. I think Michigan State is pretty much my only choice. It is offered at CMU, but again, don't want to go there.

So as you can see, my plan is in shambles and could change any minute. It depends on job opportunities and costs and place and just so much. It makes me nervous. Like, extremely nervous. But I think I can do it. I have goals. I have an outline of a plan. And I'm determined.

A Big Loss to A New Beginning Pt. One - Goals

So here is the big announcement. I had a difficult evening a couple days ago. I got my "financial aid" package from Penn State. I put "financial aid" in quotation marks because there was little to no aid at all. I gave myself a 10 minute pity party then applied to Western and Eastern (special thanks to my mom for paying for my Western App) and sent out my KCC transcript. While it still baffles me that they wouldn't give aid to a high honors student, I am not upset anymore. I still have my dreams and they are still the number one most important thing in my life.

I still don't think I have made my dreams and my plan very clear. Logan asked me the other night what I was majoring. I give him the benefit of the doubt though because I have changed it often. It was extremely solid, but that was when Penn State was the plan. Now I have a block of ice in my stomach. It never melts. It is just a huge cold chunk of uncertainty in my future. It is probably the scariest feeling I've known to feel.

So while the plan is still uncertain, the dream has been solid for months and it has been growing in passion for years. There are many steps to achieving my dreams. They are like mini goals to an ultimate goal.

So goal number one is to be an academic advisor. I have many people to thank for helping me realize this goal. My mother, she has helped me realize many a thing. Now if only she would let me help her get back into school to get a degree (wink wink). Kyle Mason, for letting me help him when he first started going to Kellogg Community College. Junior VanValkenburg for challenging me. Darci VanValkenburg for letting me help her son, a junior in high school, start thinking about college and about future career paths. Also for her helpful critical eye. Also for helping me come to the realization that I would be a great advisor. Also for her support in everything. She is basically a very important person in all of this. Another thank you to all of the people that come up to me in the student center asking me for help in regards to advisable questions. I really want to be an academic advisor, even just for a little bit. A few years, and I will be happy; however, a longer period of time is more likely and preferred.

Goal number two is to be a professor. Now, doing this alongside advising would be wonderful. Both of these goals could be goal number one. It really just depends on which I am able to get a job in first. Kind of a foot in the door. I see academic advising being more likely, though. When I get to professor status, I would love to teach history. More specifically, world wars or Germanic history. They are my bigger passions when it comes to history.

Goal number three is to work my way up to some leadership roles in a university. I just feel, as a student, that the big guns making the decisions don't make decisions for their students, but for what will make them look good. I am basing this on articles I've read and how I've personally felt. Having the opportunity to be in those decision making roles would mean the world to me. So that's the long term goal.

So when Penn State crapped out on me, I was devastated. That was where my opportunity was. They do so much in-hiring. It was going to be perfect. I am still trying to find the blessing in disguise. After some looking around at Michigan colleges.... Side story: My cardiologist was freaking out about me going out of state... I think I found it. I have pretty much decided I want to go to Eastern or Western. Preferably Eastern, but now it is whichever gives me the better financial aid package.

So I'm on Eastern's website, looking around at all their stuff, and I find an Academic Advising Masters Certificate. It is only 15-17 credits. I'm not going to lie, I was crying. I got this overwhelming feeling of everything happens for a reason. But why do I have to pay for so much failure before something good happens, ya know? Starting to pay off Northern with monthly payments, I paid probably a total of $700 for Penn State's various fees and the trip down there, and now I have to throw my trust and money at other places. Kinda nervous about that. But it will be good. I just really want it to be good.