So here is the big announcement. I had a difficult evening a couple days ago. I got my "financial aid" package from Penn State. I put "financial aid" in quotation marks because there was little to no aid at all. I gave myself a 10 minute pity party then applied to Western and Eastern (special thanks to my mom for paying for my Western App) and sent out my KCC transcript. While it still baffles me that they wouldn't give aid to a high honors student, I am not upset anymore. I still have my dreams and they are still the number one most important thing in my life.
I still don't think I have made my dreams and my plan very clear. Logan asked me the other night what I was majoring. I give him the benefit of the doubt though because I have changed it often. It was extremely solid, but that was when Penn State was the plan. Now I have a block of ice in my stomach. It never melts. It is just a huge cold chunk of uncertainty in my future. It is probably the scariest feeling I've known to feel.
So while the plan is still uncertain, the dream has been solid for months and it has been growing in passion for years. There are many steps to achieving my dreams. They are like mini goals to an ultimate goal.
So goal number one is to be an academic advisor. I have many people to thank for helping me realize this goal. My mother, she has helped me realize many a thing. Now if only she would let me help her get back into school to get a degree (wink wink). Kyle Mason, for letting me help him when he first started going to Kellogg Community College. Junior VanValkenburg for challenging me. Darci VanValkenburg for letting me help her son, a junior in high school, start thinking about college and about future career paths. Also for her helpful critical eye. Also for helping me come to the realization that I would be a great advisor. Also for her support in everything. She is basically a very important person in all of this. Another thank you to all of the people that come up to me in the student center asking me for help in regards to advisable questions. I really want to be an academic advisor, even just for a little bit. A few years, and I will be happy; however, a longer period of time is more likely and preferred.
Goal number two is to be a professor. Now, doing this alongside advising would be wonderful. Both of these goals could be goal number one. It really just depends on which I am able to get a job in first. Kind of a foot in the door. I see academic advising being more likely, though. When I get to professor status, I would love to teach history. More specifically, world wars or Germanic history. They are my bigger passions when it comes to history.
Goal number three is to work my way up to some leadership roles in a university. I just feel, as a student, that the big guns making the decisions don't make decisions for their students, but for what will make them look good. I am basing this on articles I've read and how I've personally felt. Having the opportunity to be in those decision making roles would mean the world to me. So that's the long term goal.
So when Penn State crapped out on me, I was devastated. That was where my opportunity was. They do so much in-hiring. It was going to be perfect. I am still trying to find the blessing in disguise. After some looking around at Michigan colleges.... Side story: My cardiologist was freaking out about me going out of state... I think I found it. I have pretty much decided I want to go to Eastern or Western. Preferably Eastern, but now it is whichever gives me the better financial aid package.
So I'm on Eastern's website, looking around at all their stuff, and I find an Academic Advising Masters Certificate. It is only 15-17 credits. I'm not going to lie, I was crying. I got this overwhelming feeling of everything happens for a reason. But why do I have to pay for so much failure before something good happens, ya know? Starting to pay off Northern with monthly payments, I paid probably a total of $700 for Penn State's various fees and the trip down there, and now I have to throw my trust and money at other places. Kinda nervous about that. But it will be good. I just really want it to be good.
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