Tuesday, April 1, 2014

I'm Really Bad at It

The only way someone can improve themselves is to know what they either aren't good at or what they are insecure about. I'm not talking about just physical insecurities either. I am concerned about this post because I don't want it to be a "complainy" or a "pity party" post. I don't intend it to sound like either of those. So here goes, the things I need to improve on.

1. Medication. If you know me at all, you know I am really bad at taking medication. It isn't that I am lazy. It isn't that I want to die. The issue I think, stems from when I was younger, around 10, and my cardiologist at the time had me extremely over-medicated. I don't want to say it was traumatizing, but it definitely influenced the way I feel about medication. I am trying to think of a reward system for myself that will motivate me to take it more, and eventually every night. One idea I have is that if I take it all week, I can buy myself a candy bar (dark chocolate because it is heart healthy). And that will just be once a week.

2. Portion Control. I love food. Who doesn't? The issue is that I don't like eating. I know, confusing. The actual act of eating is what I don't like. I am not too sure where this comes from. I'm not talking about eating disorder status though! No need to worry about that. So because of this, I only eat once, maybe twice a day. And when I do, I eat a lot all at once. So what I am trying to work on is getting better portioned separate meals a day.

3. Procrastination. I have had a heart monitor that I'm supposed to wear for 30 days sitting in my room in a box. It has been 2 weeks since my appointment as of Wednesday. I really just need to get my s#!% together. Also, lately with homework, I am not doing it when I could be. But that is a lazy "I am ready for Spring Break" attitude that I need to kick. Once I am back from Spring break, it should go away.

4. Eggs. I tend to put them all in one basket. I mean, I paid my $300 acceptance fee to Penn State before I even knew what my financial aid package was. I don't know why I do this kind of stuff. Maybe there is too much faith or something going on. I do know I am going to be working on looking at things with a critical eye now. I can't just jump for joy when good things happen. I need to analyze what is going on before I make big decisions.

5. Money. On one hand I am really proud of myself when it comes to money, but on the other, I know I need to be more organized and be more aware of how much I have to spend on "fun" before I go crazy. With these new monthly payments for NMU and I took on my own phone bill, I need to think about where which parts of my pay check should go.

So yeah. In order to better yourself, know yourself.

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